Another week, another crush of mail from you people, what with your questions and your questionable assertions and your ideological rants thinly disguised as questions. What I’m trying to say is, we love you crazy sons of bitches. Unfortunately, we don’t have time to answer all your emails with, you know, words and stuff. But that’s why God made GIFs, right?
This week’s GIF Parade touches on women’s MMA cliches, whether Salt Lake City is the suckiest city that ever sucked (spoiler alert: YES), and, of course, more “year of the superfight” nonsense. Plus some other crap. You ready? Yeah, you look ready enough.
From Dan O Mite: It seems that when the initial shock wore off from Chris Wiedman’s upset, the focus shifted almost immediately from “Oh my god did you see that shit?!” to “hmm…i don’t know about this Wiedman guy. I’m not sure he has what it takes to sell pay per views.”
Ben even addressed it in his TMB column this week. This question just strikes me as odd, though, for two reasons: First, if you’re so worried about a guy’s ability to sell pay per views you should just go ahead and buy the damn fight…
…and second, nobody know what the hell it takes to sells pay per views. Not a goddamn one of us has any clue why some guys sell more pay per views than other guys. “Well, Danno old sport,” you say, “you need to put on exciting fights, preferably ending in knockouts, and you need a charismatic personality. That should do the trick.” Yeah, that sounds great in theory, except when you consider that the UFC’s top draw is routinely derided as being a boring fighter with a robotic personality. Anderson Silva is another guy who couldn’t charm his way out of a wet paper bag.
From Dirty Mike: How da fugg does that goober Dominick Cruz still have a goddamn belt.
How does someone who never shows up to work still parade the title of being the best in his weight class this goddamn long. Ridiculous. Shouldnt there be a time limit to defend your title? Whats-his-nutz from brazil has defend his interim title more then that putz amirite? or amirite?
Interim titles are kind of wack too. Why give one to Carlos Condit at all or Shane Carwin when all it does is ensure them an immediate title shot. I wouldnt be surprised if this has been discussed before but it still bugs me when I see that 4’9” weiner kid, smerking in the front row on some random UFC broadcast.
From Aziz Mulhim: I’d like to talk about women’s MMA for a second…I’m not a hater nor a fan, I just enjoy fights regardless of the gender but it drives me fucking crazy when people say things like “the women always bring it” as if being a female suddenly makes you an exciting fighter.
From Patrick Day: Between all the complaints about fighter pay and Brian Stann’s reasoning for quitting fighting largely related to his ability to support his family, how do you feel whenever someone talks about fighting to provide for their wife and kids?
From Chad Zenger: Dana White’s comments about Salt Lake City gave me the same eye rolling reaction I give when my Uncle who is a traditional martial artist calls the UFC “Ex-Convict Vs. Ex-Convict” (Don’t worry Fowlkes, I’ll get to you in a minute after Dana) Lets take a look back at what happened.
It was the first matchup of Silva Vs. Sonnen….On a Sunday. Of all states in the entire country and you pick Utah to randomly have your event on a Sunday. Anybody who knows anything knows Utah is very religious and nobody does anything on Sunday. Then after tickets don’t sell out in the first few weeks you demote the event to a fight night. This is the equivalent to telling all your friends (In bro voice) “Dude, I’m having this sick party, I’ll provide all the drinks, we’ll have a Barbecue, tons of girls and the Foo Fighters are going to be playing live!” Then a few weeks later telling everyone (in depressed bro voice) “Hey dude..so…The party is BYOB, there is only going to be Bar-S hotdogs there, all the girls bailed and the Foo Fighters cancelled….Oh and my Grandma is going to be in town and wants to meet all of you.” Everyone I talked to felt screwed over and cheated and had a sour taste in their mouth and didn’t want to go anymore.
Fowlkesy boy I thought we were tight, your comments about Utahs club scene left me sad and downtrodden. I know we may not have the hippest clubs with the most yolo swag but I have made it a hobby to travel. I have been to the clubs in Vegas a hundred times, clubs in New York, Boston, LA, San Diego, Paris, Rome and London. Yes it is cool to be in an awesome club rubbing elbows with celebrities, but once you are 5 shots deep it doesn’t matter what club you are in as long as you are with people that can have a good time.
I lose sleep at night at how crazy everyone is about MMA in Utah. We have Jeremy Horn’s gym that has connections with Matt Hughes, Rich Franklin and Jens Pulver. Also the Pit Elevated, Court McGee, Ramsay Nijem and Steven Siler are all from here. Utah is a hotbed of MMA that is for some reason flying under the radar.
From CJ Glancy: I woke up on a gorgeous and what will be a fucking hot Saturday contemplating buying the Invicta card… But after checking some Mma sites, I see its Pettis vs. Henderson at UFC 164… I only see Grant defending a concussion and the conspiracy of it. Why are so many Mma fans trolls?
Time and time again these sons of bitches call a farse on the reality we live in. Anderson silva got beat, we hear about dives and million dollar Weidman bets. Now grant is hurt and he is defending playoffs? What the fuck? Why is this shit only in the ufc but discussed in terms of MLS, or the PGA?
From Evan Whitmore: “You knock a motherfucker out, you knocked him out. You get that. You get to take that home with you.” That was the wonderful Ben Fowlkes back in episode 32, in regards to Cain Velasquez’s head-to-fist action in his first fight against Junior dos Santos.
I feel like the first Velasquez vs. dos Santos fight has some important parallels to the recent Chris Weidman vs. Anderson Silva fight. The challenger was hyped to hell, and then had this surprise KO that even his fans didn’t really see coming. Two questions regarding this parallel: was Weidman’s left hook as much of a fluke as dos Santos’…
…and if Cain had to fight Antonio Silva to get the title fight, why does Anderson Silva get an immediate rematch? Does Georges St.-Pierre get a guaranteed rematch against Johny Hendricks?
From Adam Zips: So 2013 was supposed to be the year of the super-fight….
Anderson Silva KO’d by chris weidman and there goes that idea. With Jon Jones fighting Alex Gustafson and GSP fighting Hendricks, could this be the year of “the fall of the great champions”?
From Claire Hammond: As I think Chael Sonnen has suggested in the past, has Brian Stann retired to start getting organised for a Presidential campaign or something? Â Is there a better human being out there than Brian Stann?