Month: July 2013

Listener Mail GIF Parade: Let’s-All-Get-Together-and-Overreact Edition

While this week’s podcast received mail from someone who may or may not have been a character from the 1993 film “Menace II Society,” we also got a bunch of questions from you other sons of bitches that we simply didn’t have the time (or, let’s face it, desire) to answer. But that’s where the magic of the animated GIF comes in.

Take it away, GIFs.

From Steven Merriman: This past Saturday I had the dubious pleasure of watching Rory MacDonald jab his way to a unanimous, if unsatisfying victory. It’s hard to imagine a GSP vs. Rory fight as anything other as tedious. Which leads me to my question: True or False: Johnny Hendricks defeating George St-Pierre is the best thing that could happen to the Welterweight division.

From Seth Remington:  Is it time to start drug testing the judges of these events before and after an MMA event? Seriously, someone had to be smoking crack to get those scores. Two separate split decision fights with 30-27s for each fighter? And what about poor Timmy Means who was robbed of a decision? I know it is like a broken record but when is the MMA world gonna get some competent judges? Aaron Riley just retired, give that man a job as a judge!

From Ronda’s Wart: Demetrious Johnson is a superior fighter to GSP in every way.

Namely: 1. MUCH more dynamic/exciting. 2. Arguably more technical and effective in every aspect of MMA, including wrestling. 3. Looks for and gets a finish when the decision is already in the bag, rather than looking for the safest way to coast to the final bell. 4. Is already looking for (literally) bigger challenges in the weight class above. How many years has GSP spent dominating welterweights and finding excuses not to even dip his toe in the pool at middleweight?? and 5. If Johnson wanted to build and protect a “legacy” as a dominant champion for years to come, getting rich and boring us to tears, he very likely could. Apparently he is more ambitious than that. Discuss!

From Kent Carter: Michael Chandler just signed an 8 fight deal with Bellator, pretty much guaranteeing he will not fight a top ten ranked fighter while he is in his prime. If he’s not interested in fighting the best, I’m not interested in watching him fight. Is this the extremely career limiting move that I seem to think it is?

From Carl Kennedy: So apparently, in regards to the bare knuckle boxing thing, the reason it is technically “bare knuckle” is because there is a slit cut in the top of the gloves that exposes the knuckles. I am really not sure if/how they are wrapping the hands. So yeah………. that is happening. What do you think? Worse than X-arm?

From Joakim Kalantari: I thought to offer you some perspective on all of your collective complaining about “too many cards” and “watered down product” and “UFC excessively asking its fans for their time.”

I live in Sweden, so it goes without saying that my experience is limited to this region alone.  First of all; to follow the UFC live you have stay up all night. Prelims start around midnight and main card normally commences around 4 am Sunday morning.

Secondly, every thing; Facebook prelims, FX/Fuel prelims and main card is available trough UFC.tv i.e. online stream. Thirdly, every fight card costs about USD 30. This means that all these halv-shitty/halv-decent “free cards” that you are hard pressed to spend time to watch live, let alone spend money on, costs us 30 bucks a pop. To cap it all off, if there’s a problem with the stream, which granted happens seldom but when it happens it does so at the most inopportune moments (e.g. main event of Silva/Weidman), the UFC’s response is total deafening silence. No refunds, no apologies, no empty promises about “making it up to the fans” by Dana White – nothing.

Additionally, you best check your tone when you email the customer support to complain because the only response you’ll liable to receive is a thinly veiled threat of getting your account blocked. And then where will you be? You’d be forced to examine the void that you’ve spent years and thousands of dollars to create instead of any thing that would pass for a social life.

Just like my mom used to bring up “starving kids” anytime I did not like the dinner that was offered, maybe you should consider us Swedes next time you complain about a shitty Fuel/FX/Fox card. I mean free healthcare and college education, low infant mortality rates, high life expectancy, clean air and water and low crime rates and all are all good and well; but I had to pay for the shit we all watched yesterday evening (or in my case previously this morning)

From Brady Carlson: What is the single greatest move every pulled off in an MMA fight? Is it the Showtime kick, Edson Barboza’s spinning heel kick, Anderson Silva’s front kick to the face, what?

From Walter Pinkman: Is there any other sports fan as fickle as the mma fan? Why does groupthink exist so pervasively in this sport?  Is there any sport where current fans make it harder for new fans to start enjoying the same sport? Three questions that have continued to arise in my life as it becomes harder and harder to justify my enjoyment of the sport to outsiders and occasionally myself.

From Perry Bergson: If Fighter A has a technique working that his opponent, Fighter B, can’t deal with, does he really have an obligation to move to other things to please the fans? Doesn’t Fighter B have to find a way to deal with the jab or wrestling or leg kicks or whatever is beating him? Isn’t winning all that ultimately matters, regardless of the route taken to get there?

From Mazz M: Let’s just imagine that the fabled Roy Jones Jr. vs Quinton Rampage jackson fight happens. They have to get KIMBO SLICE in the undercard (read: co-main event) right?

Co-Main Event Podcast Episode 62 (7/30/13)

New logo 42Online voting did not go as planned last week during the quest to find a winner in the Co-Main Event Podcast music contest. Nobody’s fault, really (except maybe the dudes who wrote up the rules for the contest itself) but in the end Ben and Chad had no choice but to declare the thing a draw. Thing is, though, that could well turn out to be a blessing in disguise, as now the CME has two dope new themes to choose from during the next month or so before going back to the beloved original theme. Anyway, to get the details, you’re going to have to listen to the show. You’ll want to do that anyway, as this week the guys break down the stark contrast between the final two fights on last Saturday’s UFC on Fox broadcast, look ahead to Jose Aldo’s title defense against Chan Sung Jung (that’s the Korean Zombie, you guys) at UFC 163 and wonder when the UFC’s gonna break the news to us that it’s moving its operation to Brazil on a full-time basis.

All that, plus AYFKM and Just Sayin’ Stuff.

Direct downloaders can wind up on the Biogenesis list right here.

[audio http://traffic.libsyn.com/comainevent/Episode_62_master.mp3]

 

Listener Mail GIF Parade: Stop-Crying-‘Fix’-or-We-Will-Murder-You Edition

Eventually this has to stop, right? And by this, I mean the odd email that floats into our inbox alleging that the Anderson Silva-Chris Weidman fight was fixed. It just can’t continue on indefinitely. We will not abide it, and there aren’t enough angry GIFs out there to convey our feelings on the matter.

There are, fortunately for all of us, plenty of other GIFs and other Listener Mail queries to match them up with. So let’s get on with it, and woe be unto the motherfucker who sends us a fight-fixing question after this day.

From Jon Lee: Isn’t this whole Anderson putting his hands down thing the ULTIMATE in Monday morning Quarterbacking? When Silva puts his hands down against EVERY other fighter before smashing them, we give him massive god like props and when he finally gets caught we act like he’s embarrassing the sport and himself and his own Brazilians boo’d him. I guess I’m asking why do we as MMA fans do that?

From Dan O: I’ve got an idea for bonus structures in the UFC and I want you guys to tell me how brilliant I am for thinking of it (or shit on it, lets be honest, you will probably shit on it).

So it starts off with everyone who finishes his opponent gets a bonus of 20,000 dollars. KO of the night and Submission of the night are gone, but Fight of the Night stays and is worth 20k to each guy. So if an event has ten fights, Dana sets aside 240,000 dollars for bonuses. Since it is rare that all fights end in a finish, any unused bonus money goes back in the kitty, so to speak. For example, if only one fight ends in decision, that 20k gets distributed evenly among the next event so now the bonuses are worth 22k apiece.

If you get 3 or 4 events in a row where half the fights go to decision that bonus starts to get up near 40 grand and everybody starts throwing caution to the wind to go for a finish. Just imagine Dana and Joe screaming at each other at the end of the FX prelims about how crazy the pay per view will be because everyone that finishes gets a forty or fifty thousand dollar check and then try telling me this isn’t a great idea.

From Mauro Pedrosa: Wouldn’t a fight between Nick Diaz and Michael Bisping be awesome?

From Corey Whichard: As someone who follows MMA very closely, I make it a point to avoid all MMA-themed movies. I don’t even watch mainstream movies starring MMA fighters (e.g., The A-Team, Haywire, The Expendables), not merely because all of these movies look fucking terrible, but because as a general rule professional cage-fighters are uniformly god-awful at acting.

I’m not talking about expecting decent or even okay acting–most of these guys can’t help but ruin whatever scene they momentarily appear in, and as a fan of their sport I literally feel embarrassed for them. I even feel mildly ashamed when I come across the movie cover for what I can only (regretfully) describe as an “MMA movie,” as they all tend to look like advertisements for some bizarre mixture of gangster rap and violent gay porn.

Do you guys think that MMA fighters-turned-actors, who themselves must watch movies with talented actors, are actually under the impression that they can act? Is it just a way to make a quick buck? Do they have any idea how much they suck?

From Curt Heinrichs: With Anderson Silva losing to Weidman, a certain MMA personality (whose Twitter handle suggests he has good seats and his name is Brian) has been suggesting that certain fights are “works” in the lingo of professional wrestling. While I doubt that anyone in the UFC would take a dive, I was wondering your thoughts on the matter. Aside from a few known examples, do you feel that there are some fights that are planned out in advance, or is this guy just trolling his followers?

From Ben Hoefstetter: Do you guys find it odd that UFC 163 is “Aldo vs. KOREAN ZOMBIE”? He has a real name, and one that is not even that difficult for Westerners to pronounce.

Did the UFC just not want to spend the time to figure out whether “Jung” or “Chang-Sung” is his surname, or are they just banking on the hope that those elusive casual fans remember an awesome fight from 2010 featuring a dude from Korea who just kept moving forward? Also at the time of writing this message, two fighters on the main card of UFC 163 do not have wikipedia pages.

From Jeremy Doughty: my question is regarding belt procedure. I have always assumed that when a title reign comes to an end the former champ actually turns in the belt and it is given to the new champ. Then I watch the Countdown shows and see former champs with a slew of belts on their mantle and am left wondering if they actually keep the belt, do they have to purchase it, or are these just replicas. Getting to The root of my question, is Cain Velasquez holding the same belt Tim Silvia slept with, and at the end of the day what is that shiny gold bitch worth.

From Joakim Kalatanri: You guys have been of CME fame for a while now and I wonder; how does it feel that your fans likely, take more seriously and pay more attention to what you say more than probably you do.

This is not veiled criticism of the podcast. I know you don’t just go out there and say shit, just to be saying stuff (besides when you do, but you get my point). I can imagine that you are both used to fan reaction to your work, due to your profession. At the same time though, the podcast medium does not allow you to be as deliberate and precise as when you’re writing. It kind of forces you to think a loud which may lead to less than optimal phrasing and positions. What’s your experience of idiots like myself reminding you about shit that you may or may not have said/meant weeks and month later?

And the Finalists for the CME Music Contest are …

Update: Voting is now closed for the CME’s first music contest. Thanks loads to all those who entered. Winners and particulars will be announced on next week’s show.

You bastards never cease to amaze us, you know that? We have no choice but to consider the first ever CME music contest a smashing success after you guys clogged our inbox with entries during the past few weeks. Bravo to everyone who competed, as we got some really stunning submissions in multiple genres showcasing varying levels of sophistication, style and brawlability. From those original volleys emerge these five finalists, which were among the dopest we received. Take a minute, listen to the tunes and then vote in the poll below. The winner will become the CME’s new theme music for a length of time to be determined. Seriously though, nice job, team. You all kicked ass.

Now, everybody in. CME on three, ready? 1-2-3. CME!

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/101487555%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-mGK0w” params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/101487600%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-c2dbw” params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/101487643%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-3ZQFW” params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/101487698%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-o3vJF” params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/101487744%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-Whvos” params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

Co-Main Event Podcast Episode 61 (7/23/13)

New logo 61Don’t mind telling you, Universe, there are a lot of unknowns on this weekend’s UFC of FOX 8 card, which means the Co-Main Event Podcast had its work cut out for itself during episode 61. Witness Ben and Chad trying to sort out whether the legend of Rory MacDonald is more hype than substance, if Jake Ellenberger can make a run at the 170-pound title before it’s too late and just who the hell is this John Moraga dude everybody keeps saying is fighting for the flyweight title. Your dudes pick over this show like a couple of grizzled lab techs at a crime scene, all the while looking for answers about why Dana White would shout at the hapless people from SI Now, why anybody would think reanimating “bare knuckle boxing” was a good idea and why Joe Riggs would tell those stories about other fighters’ bathing suit areas.

All that, plus MasterTweet Theatre, AYFKM and Just Sayin’ Stuff.

SOUNDS: The music you’ll hear between rounds this week comes from listener Dmitri Kalmar and his band Driven Mad. You can find more of their music at drivenmadmetal.com.

Direct downloaders can hear more about MMA fighters’ private parts right here.

[audio http://traffic.libsyn.com/comainevent/Episode_61_master.mp3]

Listener Mail GIF Parade: Year of the Superfight Edition

Another week, another crush of mail from you people, what with your questions and your questionable assertions and your ideological rants thinly disguised as questions. What I’m trying to say is, we love you crazy sons of bitches. Unfortunately, we don’t have time to answer all your emails with, you know, words and stuff. But that’s why God made GIFs, right?

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Co-Main Event Podcast Episode 60 (7/16/13)

New logo 42Thank God for Anthony Pettis, Brian Stann and Anderson Silva, as those three gentlemen provided a significant lift to episode 60 of the Co-Main Event Podcast during what otherwise may have been a fairly slow news week. First Pettis poured gas on the conspiracy fire as he slid safely into a lightweight title bout against Benson Henderson at UFC 164 after T.J. Grant pulled out with a concussion suffered during Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training. Wait. Concussion during BJJ? The fuck? Grant must’ve been coming off the top rope or something. Anyway, then Stann pulled off potentially the most reasonable and responsible retirement in our sport’s history just a day or two before Silva announced that he [was] back and had agreed to fight Chris Weidman at UFC 168 in December. Suffice it to say, all this stuff made Ben’s and Chad’s jobs as your humble co-hosts a walk in the park. Meanwhile, the MMA world breathed a collective sigh of relief as former UFC heavyweight champion Tim Sylvia emerged from hiding this week to offer proof of life and to let everybody know he still has cell phone service.

You didn’t think Big Tim would get through this week without making an appearance in AYFKM did you? Yeah no, he does not. All that, plus Just Sayin’ Stuff.

Sounds: This week’s music comes to us from podcast listener Courtney Jensen and his project Autopilot Dojo. If you like what you hear you can find more of his music at AutopilotDojo.com.

Direct downloaders can talk their way into a bout against Bendo right here.

[audio http://traffic.libsyn.com/comainevent/Episode_60_master.mp3]

Listener Mail GIF Parade: UFC 162 Edition

Yeah, this is happening again. I guess no one should be all that surprised that your dudes got a ton of listener mail after Anderson Silva’s fake stanky leg became a totally real, totally stanky one at UFC 162.

Obviously, we couldn’t get to all that in one episode of the podcast without breaking a solemn vow up in this piece. Also, we don’t really want to take the time to answer all those questions with words, because that sounds hard. So what do we do? We say it with a GIF, brother. It’s all we really can do.

From Michael M: I’ll keep it simple. Something seemed a bit fishy at the end of Silva Weidman, and no I’m not a “fucking idiot” as Dana White termed those who are suspect. While the big money superfights are now on hold, which would normally be motivation for such a set-up, any real chance this one was fixed?

Read More

Co-Main Event Podcast Episode 59 (7/9/13)

New logo 42Don’t know if you guys heard, but UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva (who has long been regarded as pretty good at fighting) lost the title to Chris Weidman this weekend at UFC 162. It was sort of an upset and that makes episode 59 of the Co-Main Event Podcast a pretty big one. Ben and Chad take a fairly indepth look at the fight itself, including the many machinations of public opinion in the wake of Weidman’s second round victory. They also contemplate the future of the 185-pound division and exactly how much of the UFC’s future planning went up in smoke at the moment the challenger landed that left hook to the champion’s jaw. In middleweight news of another kind, the guys also wonder about the future of longtime fan favorite Chris Leben, whose career appeared on thin ice after his own loss to Andrew Craig.

All that, plus the return of Sir Nigel Longstock and MasterTweet Theatre, AYFKM and Just Sayin’ Stuff.

Sounds: This week’s music is provided by podcast listener Matthew Kraig and his outfit Minus Music. Y’all can download their EP for free (for free!) at soundcloud.com/minusmusic.

Direct downloaders can get their damn dirty hands on the show right here.

[audio http://traffic.libsyn.com/comainevent/Episode_59_master.mp3]

Co-Main Event Podcast Episode 58 (7/2/13)

New logo 58With America set to turn 237 years old this week (or 229 years young, for you Treaty of Paris types) the Co-Main Event Podcast celebrated the only way it knows how: By recording the show early so Ben and Chad could spend the rest of the week standing around shirtless at barbecues drinking beer and shouting stuff like “Oh yeah? Let me tell YOU something …,” at people they only sort of know. So, yay America. With UFC 162 coming up on Saturday, it goes without saying that the guys have serious MMA business to attend to as well. This week’s topics include Chris Weidman vs. Anderson Silva as the most talked about UFC main event in some time, that awesome behind-the-scenes video of War MMA that we all watched and numerous past and present fighters criticizing the UFC’s pay scale.

All that, plus AYFKM and Just Sayin’ Stuff. It’s nearly Independence Day, which means Sir Nigel Longstock has retreated to Mother England to stew on the shame of it all, but we hope he’ll return next week to shock and disturb us with his Michael Bisping impression.

Sounds: This week’s music comes from podcast listener Jeremy Cole and his band Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun. More of their music can be found at their website and Facebook page. You can also follow them on Twitter.

Direct downloaders can reach to the heavens right here.